Monday, October 08, 2007

Beware! The GOP Space Aliens from Xandur have arrived

This past week felt like a bad sci-fi movie released by the moguls of Washington. Many of the Republican notables have finally broken out of their pods and emerged as full fledged space aliens with a mission from planet Xandur to destroy the constitution and bring terror down upon the land. And to think that some of us once mistook them for humans.

First, there was Clarence Thomas on Sixty Minutes last Sunday. His appearance in that fascinating interview was everything we might have expected but dreaded. When he at last agreed to break out of his pod for the interview we knew for a certainty that this emotional disaster has spent his life licking his wounds, picking his scabs, and denying the realities of his life and the world he lives in. He is our first Supreme who appears to hate the planet Earth and all its people. It was an amazing performance. Smiling, glowering, condemning, whining; a living insult and a threat to the well-being of all Americans, particularly African-Americans, an insult to the justice system that we will have to live with for years and years to come. One could only wish that he had followed through on his resolve to reject any advancement that might seem to derive from some racial quota. He claims to have buried his Yale degree in his basement for this reason, then why not follow through and resign from the court for the same reason? But consistency is not for the likes of Justice Thomas. Grievance is his meat and drink, but only his own grievances, not those of the people who come before his court. Once I thought he was planted in the court by George Herbert Walker Bush to weigh it down with staunch conservatives, but now it is clear that Thomas comes with a mission from Xandur - not to follow through on the advice of his beloved grandfather to be a proud and self-sufficient man - but to complete his mission to destroy our Justice system and then depart on his flying saucer to his true home on the planet Cry-Baby.

Speaking of babies, we have W - Bush the Baby Slayer. His chortling delight in promising to veto the program that would assure health care insurance for uncovered children was, even for Bush, a bit of overacting. It was silent-film stuff. All it needed to be complete was a screaming woman tied to a railroad track with an oncoming train bearing down upon her. The cheap, quickie sci-fi films that this White House has produced in the past seven years - filled with bloody war and flooded cities - has come to its climax in this veto - it simply cannot come from a human born of man and woman. He is clearly something the scientists on Xandur concocted in a laboratory and sent to earth to do their bidding.

And what of John Mc Cain? He has ripped off the mask of non-conformity to join the religious right in a new crusade against "them." Is that really our McCain or an interplanetary imposter? Look into those dead eyes and you will find the answer. As for Rudy, our newly gun toting, Judi kissing, fear mongering front runner - when is he going to take out his ray gun and vaporize Hillary? Once he has completed that mission from Xandur he is sure to turn the rest of the country to rubble and ashes. And do we really believe that conservative Larry Craig was signaling for sex under that bathroom partition? Not me. He was contacting an agent from Xandur for further instructions - for Xandur like Iran has no homosexuals. And who has ever seen any trace of humanity in the faces of the Blackwater mercenaries? Another set of pods sent down to destroy us.

And to think that the American press has devoted itself to the woes of Brittany Spears and the authenticity of Hillary Clinton's cackle in the past week. The question arises, can Hillary or Obama or Edwards withstand the attack of these giant tomatoes? Where is Captain Kirk or Buck Rodgers now that we really need them?